jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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