i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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