She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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