I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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