sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
