I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
