Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
