I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
