Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
