A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
