Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
