Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
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