Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i think i have two assholes
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
