I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
