just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
