The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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