More tranny stories later!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
