My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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