After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
