i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
