Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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