I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Randomize
