Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
