Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
