i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
