Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
