I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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