the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
