my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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