You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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