I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I deserve this hangover.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
