Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
