Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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