Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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