if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
