Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
