they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
