There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
