I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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