sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
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