I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
