My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
