Cold hands, warm shart.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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