Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
