Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
