he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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