He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
