so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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