You smell like a Billy Joel song
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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