I must be too annoying 4 u.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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