why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you never un-have a 4some
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
