But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
