I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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