And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
